Have you done the college drop-off yet or are you anticipating moving your child into their dorm soon?

If this is your last child to leave home, you may be experiencing excitement and fear as you navigate the empty nest—excitement for them as they fly off to a new adventure and fear for yourself as you contemplate returning to a barren house.

Our lives have been radar-focused on our children for 18 years, and everything is about to change. We have poured ourselves into them, managing crazy, nonstop scheduling, and suddenly, the house is quiet, and nothing is happening.

There are so many emotions and having gone through this myself I would say it’s best to feel the feelings and grieve the loss. I remember dropping our daughter off at school, hopping on the freeway, and immediately feeling the tears surface. Don’t tell yourself this isn’t a painful time when it is. Your favorite people (or person) has left home and everything feels…sad. There is an emptiness and a void that seems difficult to fill.

Weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning… when you don’t have to pack lunches and endure the morning mayhem of getting out the door and off to school. These are the perks of your new season.

You will come to love the slower pace, the time to focus on your spouse, the hobbies you used to enjoy, and the travel that once was difficult. There will be tough moments that sometimes hit at odd and unexpected times, like dinner when it’s just the two of you and not the usual family banter around the table or walking by the empty bedrooms that are no longer messy.

You might be wrestling with how you will spend your newfound freedom, or questioning your life’s purpose now that your kids are gone. These are important questions that need to be considered! Of course, your life still has a purpose, friend. Raising a family was one of the most important jobs you could do, but God is not done with you yet! Take this quieter time to seek Him for your next steps and what that will look like. Maybe you serve at church more, take a mission trip, or start a business.

Let the Lord lead you to the next great thing.

I was thankful I had a job when my kids left for college. Staying busy was key to staying mentally healthy. If you are not working maybe now is the time for part-time or volunteer work. Getting back into an exercise routine or connecting with friends neglected in your busy parenting years are other great options to fill your time. Also, giving yourself time to rest and regroup is allowed!

Letting Go

Finding your groove means allowing your kids to find theirs. We can clarify that we are available for support, but then we must step back and honor their independence and self-reliance. As young adults, they are embarking on a new chapter, and we need to cut the cord and trust that we’ve equipped them to navigate their lives well. Yes, they will make mistakes and we must let them. We can’t try to control everything, as this is part of their growth journey into adulthood.

Get ready for teary phone calls and stressed-out students. College is not easy, and our kids struggled during their freshman year. Encourage, support, guide, and pray for them! They will find their way and you will learn to trust God more with your children.

Other Factors

This season may include other changes as well. We go through challenges that may coincide with our children leaving the nest. Perhaps you are facing retirement, going through a divorce, or experiencing menopause. In this chapter of saying goodbye to our kids, we often deal with aging parents and their health issues. These circumstances can be overwhelming, but standing firm in our faith and spending time in His word will help us steer through tumultuous times. However, don’t hesitate to seek Christian counseling if the road is rough and you are spiraling downward in all the changes.

“I have set the Lord always before me because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.” Psalm 16:8

I’m cheering for you, Mama Bird.