I had to shuffle through my big, messy photo bins to find this picture for my son’s upcoming wedding.

Seeing the image of us on this day brought some emotion in that moment.

Our wedding day almost didn’t happen.

The first time my husband proposed, I said no.

Harsh, I know.

It wasn’t because the large, dazzling diamond lacked luster. And it wasn’t because I didn’t love him; I knew I did.

It was because I was terrified of making a mistake.

Call it what you want, a generational curse or just bad choices, but almost every marriage in my family ended in divorce.

I was determined not to perpetuate that pattern of shattered unions.

“So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate.” Matthew 19:6

There simply weren’t many examples of happy-ending marriages for me to watch or emulate, and I was afraid I’d be another casualty.

We broke up. We got back together. We sought pre-marital counseling.

A pastor walked us through some issues we were facing, and I realized there was hope for us!

There was hope for me and some of the concerns I was carrying.

A few months later, he proposed again (brave soul), and this time I said yes.

Had all of my doubts gone away? No, not completely. But I knew that we had worked through issues, prayed thoroughly, and spent enough time together that my tinge of fear had to be normal.

Choosing who we will marry is one of the biggest decisions we will ever make, and I had to trust God. I had to believe that He had brought me a good, faithful, and trustworthy man, and it was time to move forward.

No one ever knows what the outcome will be or what the future holds. Life is uncertain and full of risks. But remaining hesitant without taking the necessary steps forward prevents us from receiving the beautiful blessings of God’s plan for our lives. 

“For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

On January 30^th, 1993, we said our wedding vows and captured this cherished memory on the coast of San Diego.

On this day, we took a step of faith.

On this day, we trusted God to navigate our marriage and our lives.

On this day, we committed ourselves fully to each other.

On this day, I resolved to break the pattern of divorce in my family.

On this day, I married my best friend.